9 Things That Mob Bosses & Moms Both Say

Things That Mob Bosses and Moms Both Say on @ItsMomtastic by @letmestart | funny lists for moms | parenting humor

In case you are unfamiliar with their line of work, a mob boss is someone in charge of an organization that consists of liars, thieves, scoundrels, and criminals who need to kept in line for the greater good of an entire family.

Anyone here notice that that sounds an awful lot like a mom’s job, too?

It’s no wonder that the two of them seem to speak the same language when addressing their charges. Here are nine examples of what you might hear a mob boss say in any of the trillion movies out there, and the unspoken threat in Mom’s silently arched eyebrow after she says the same thing:

 1. “I know you’ll make the right decision.”
The unspoken threat: Or else you have to deal with me when you get home.

 2. “Do you need me to have a little talk with your friends?
The unspoken threat: Because I have no problem embarrassing you publicly if you continue to behave like you’re doing right now.

 3. “I’m about to make you an offer you can’t refuse.”
The unspoken threat: It’s called “a bribe to make my life easier” and do not tell your dad about it or it shall never happen again.

 4. “What’s the maddah with you?”
The unspoken threat: You are not as stupid as what you just did makes you look like you are.

 5. “This is family business, not their business.”
The unspoken threat: Overshare on Facebook again and I will shut your online life down faster than a worldwide apocalyptic blackout.

 6. “You won’t be seeing your friend anymore.” 
The unspoken threat: Your friend is annoying as hell. Lose her number.

 7. “I want his house burned to the ground.”
The unspoken threat: That’s the second time you caught lice from hanging out over there.

 8. “You wanna play the tough guy? Okay. I can play tough, too.”
The unspoken threat: Say goodbye to your little phone.

 9. “Always keep your mouth shut.”
The unspoken threat: If you don’t have something nice to say, know that I will hear you.

Graphic: Kim Bongiorno