My son Mason is 4, so when I was pregnant with my daughter Poppy I sort of assumed I’d just remember how to care for a newborn. And those silly things I did as a new mom? I never imagined I would do them again …but, as it turns out, I was wrong (hello, #5 on this list!). In fact, I’m shocked by how many new mom moments I have, even though I’m not a new mom.
The random crying unnerves me. In those first few weeks after Poppy was born, I felt almost panicked when she’d cry for no clear reason. Now I just stick a boob in her mouth and pray that it works! It kills me to hear her cry. Sleep training is going to be awesome.
I bundle her up like the little brother in A Christmas Story. I dress her in so many layers to pick up her brother from school that she can’t move her arms. Sorry, baby.
I can’t work the f*cking stroller. Yes, it’s the same stroller my son used for years. Yes, I swear as I battle with it every afternoon. Yes, other moms offer to help me. Amateur hour.
I feel guilty all the time. From preschool to playdates, my 4-year-old has his own life. My baby girl? Not so much. She’s super attached to me (and, yes, I’m very attached to her), which means that I feel like The Worst Mom in the World any time I leave her. WTF is wrong with me?! I thought I’d know better this time around.
I check her breathing while she’s sleeping. So much for being less of a hovering, anxious parent the second time around!
I suck at breastfeeding in public. I admire moms who can get their babies to latch in a crowd. Me? Not so much. The baby gets distracted, she wrestles with the nursing cover, she screams — and chances are, I’m flashing everyone around us,
I get totally stressed about bath time. Why are babies so freaking slippery?! Seriously, I feel like I need to wrap her in one of those sticky pads from my Pilates class.
Can you relate?