Real Moms Confess: The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Said Out Loud …


“Mason, stop eating your sister!”

It was 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning and my 4-year-old son was, in his words, “EATING POPPY, MOMMMMMEEEEE!!,” screeching chomp-chomp as he nibbled at her with his dinosaur toy (pic above). His baby sister took the tormenting in stride, at first — but I could tell she was about to scream. Soon. And who could blame her? Mason was ruining her post-breastfeeding buzz (and mine too).


I never thought I’d say those words out loud (or even to myself, actually). But, as moms we say all kinds of crazy things, because our kids do all kinds of crazy things. For fun, we asked those of you in our community to share the most bizarre thing you’ve ever said to your kids:

“No Alex, you don’t need to take all your clothes off to pole dance” –AtomicPink

“Please, can we take that toilet seat cover off your head?” –lola_90

“Don’t draw on your biscuit.” –hayz_baby

“Oh my god, just let me have ONE wee on my own without being watched, please!” –kate&lucas

“The cat is not a chew toy!” –dizzy65

“Please stop trying to put that piece of corn up your penis!!” –leilahs_mummy

“Could you please take your Ferrari out of your breakfast?” –Nikki_lou

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever said to your kid?