I love my three-year-old son Mason. I'd do anything for him. Anything at all… except let him sleep in our bed.
It's not that I'm heartless. It's that I want to give him the kind of happy childhood that I didn't have, the kind of childhood where his parents are happily married for the long-haul instead of unhappy for years before finally getting divorced. So, with that goal in mind, I keep Mason out of our bed.
Bed is a place where we stay connected, and it's not just about sex. It's where we cuddle. It's where we share details about our day before we drift off to sleep at night. Bedtime is the one time that Chris and I are alone and really have a chance to catch up. If there's a toddler–even our super precious, super cute toddler sleeping between us–we can't really do any of that.
We didn't even co-sleep when Mason was a baby. He slept in a bassinet next to our bed and then moved into a crib a few months later.
Of course we could have our sweet catch-up time, drift off to sleep peacefully, and then let Mason hop in bed with us in the middle of the night. After all, a night rarely goes by that he doesn't wake us up because he's cold, he needs a drink of water, monsters are under his bed, or he's upset that his room is too dark. But we think that letting him in our bed in the middle of the night is setting a bad precident. I'm afraid that once we go down that slippery slope it's all over. He'll be in bed with us every night.
We hope to have another baby one day, and I'm determined to stick to my No Kid in the Bed Rule. I'm sure it gets tougher with more kids, but we're off to a good start so far. Maybe Mason will even set a good example for his brother or sister.
What do you think? Is co-sleeping bad for your marriage?