One of the most challenging things to deal with as a parent is resolving sibling fights. We have all been there. Both are your kids, and you don’t want to give preferential treatment to either, so you have to navigate this territory very carefully.
Fights between the kids can be frustrating for parents, as resolving it adds yet another task (that takes quite a long time) to their neverending list. However, no matter how much you hate playing the referee, as parents, it’s your responsibility to help your kids resolve their conflicts and teach them healthy ways to manage their disagreements. Resolving your kids’ sibling fight might be difficult at times, but it’s not impossible.
1. Encourage understanding between siblings
This is not something you try to incorporate into your sibling fight resolution. Kids will have none of it in between their arguments. After you have managed to resolve their sibling fight, the first step is to sit with your kids and encourage them to be empathetic towards each other. Teach them to listen to each other’s perspectives and try to understand their feelings. With this, you can help your kids develop better communication and problem-solving skills.
2. Be a role model
All of us know that our kids mimic us, which holds for most littles since parents are one of the first people they meet after stepping into the big, bad world. So, make sure you and your partner prevent fighting in front of them. Instead, have a healthy talk, discuss things with each other, listen to each other, and reach the solution calmly. Looking at your approach, your kids will also try to sort out their differences similarly.
Top Tip: Every relationship has its share of disagreements and arguments. For the sake of your little ones, hold your feelings inside until the kids are asleep or have headed out for a play sesh. It would be best if you and your partner resolved the argument away from the children to avoid negatively influencing them while you are trying to teach them conflict resolution.
3. Teach them to use the right words
Effective communication is essential to resolve sibling fights. So, teach your kids to express their emotions through words rather than resorting to physical or emotional aggression. Tell them that if they are annoyed by their sibling’s actions, they must talk it out instead of throwing toys at them. Show them how to healthily and politely say no to things without causing a ruckus.
4. Establish clear rules and routines
The earlier you set the rules and routines, the better. Clear rules and routines can help resolve sibling fights even before they escalate. Tell your kids the consequences for breaking the rules and enforce them if needed.
Discuss the routine with them, like who gets to pick the movies on which day, who will decide the menu on what days, etc. You can even divide them by hours, such as dividing TV time so that all the kids get the remote for an equal duration. Once the kids know the structure and make it a part of their daily routine, they are less likely to dispute over it.
5. Provide equal opportunities
Kids usually fight when they feel they are being treated unfairly compared to their siblings. They feel left out and develop jealousy, resulting in sibling fights. That is why parents need to provide their kids with equal opportunities without discrimination. As a parent, stay impartial, whether playing sports, going out, or doing things they love. Don’t let gender bias or anything else cloud your judgment, and never favor one kid over the other.
In case, due to a medical reason, you end up allowing one of your kiddos to do everything while stopping the other one from doing as much, make sure to explain to them why their sibling is permitted while they aren’t.
Similarly, you might pamper the other child more due to their health condition, so you also need to sit with the little one (who is allowed everything) to explain why their sibling needs more attention than them. Involving your child will make them more empathetic towards their sibling. This way, you will avoid unnecessary sibling fights.
6. Create cooling zones
Create separate cooling zones for your kids. When you sense that your kids are about to fight (do it before it escalates into a physical fight), send them to their respective zones to calm down, like a home library, tree house, etc. If this doesn’t work, try to distract them by doing their favorite activity together.
However, do let your kids fight their own battles as long as they are not hurting each other or destroying things. Sometimes, venting out makes things better. If no trick seems to be working and your kids’ sibling fights are escalating day by day, seek professional help immediately to control the matter before it’s too late.
Sibling fights are common and challenging to manage, especially for first-time parents. By implementing these strategies, you can quickly resolve your kids’ sibling fights. Be patient and consistent; you will soon see your kids sharing a positive bond.
