7 Crystals Every Parent Should Own (Because Kids)

Crystal healing is all the rage. Sure the world is on fire and our kids just won’t sit down, but at least we’ve got magic rocks to carry our vibes way, way up into the stratosphere!

Crystals are thought to help with mood and with healing. And who needs help with mood more than parents who are trapped at home with their kids? Here are 7 of the best healing crystals to improve your parenting, and keep you protected from the bad vibes that come along with raising children. Namaste!

Amethyst

Amethyst is a calming stone. Hear that, kids? Moms, carry an amethyst in your pocket to fiddle with in times of high stress. Kid plugged the toilet with an action figure? Amethyst. Children screaming at a level that should break the sound barrier? Amethyst. Baby decided to re-paint the nursery using his own diaper… you’re gonna need a bigger amethyst.

Rose Quartz

Rose quartz is known for being a love stone. Wearing a rose quartz around your neck is a great reminder that, yes, you do love your family, and, no, you don’t truly want to fake your own death and start over again in a completely foreign country where they will never ever find you. Ever. Because love, of course.

Black Tourmaline

Black tourmaline is a gorgeous stone that’s used for protection. It would be crazy to tell you to keep black tourmaline in your pockets to hurl at those tiny monsters when they seem to be channeling demons as they thrash and wail on your floor because you won’t allow them to eat the gross M&M they found under the couch cushion. So of course, I’m not recommending that, merely pointing it out as an option.

Carnelian

Carnelian is a joyful and energetic stone. Lay out some carnelian beside your morning coffee and begin your morning mantra: “Please get me through today in one piece, I’m so tired, I beg you”. Follow it up with 4 more cups of coffee, and let the games begin.

Citrine

Citrine is sometimes used for people looking to improve their wealth and success. Very relevant for parents who spend a third of their income on empty carbs and toilet tissue for their sweet little munchkins to hurl into the loo while flushing repeatedly. Perhaps carrying some citrine in your bra will help undo the financial damage of everything these kids have broken through the years, plus their medical bills, summer camps, clothing, etc.?

Sodalite

Sodalite is thought to be good for logic and communication. Perfect for mothers who spend their day explaining why you can’t just wear 5 pairs of underpants on your face to go to the grocery store, and parents who are asked “why” five thousand times in rapid succession. If you’re carrying sodalite on you, are your children more likely to listen to you? Probably not, but at this point, anything is worth a shot.

Selenite

Selenite is a stone that is good for cleansing and clarifying. Perfect for opening that third eye. Lord knows when you open the two eyes you’ve got, all you can see is the mess that doesn’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Carry some selenite and keep your vibes high that if it’s a cleansing stone, maybe it will jolt a vibe into your kids or your spouse to pick up a rag and help out.

Crystal healing may not fix your life, but it does show that you’re desperate enough to try pretty much anything to try. At least they will look nice scattered around your house as you slowly descend into madness.

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