1. Go to the movies
It could be a year before I see another movie in a theater, so I’d better bank some time in that heavenly place with the popcorn and sour patch kids now. And since I know I’ll have to get up and pee at least twice, I’ll prioritize movies with uncomplicated plots, such as Hot Tub Time Machine 2. At least, that’s the reason I’ll offer if I run into anyone I know.
2. Get groomed
I’m planning to fit in one last appointment for highlights, eyebrow waxing, and toenail polish. After the birth, I can let myself go to hell, but at least I’ll look good in the hospital. If only I could pay someone to shave my legs, which seem so very far away.
3. Eat carbs
Sure, that’s what I’ve been doing my entire pregnancy, but I really need to step it up and savor every last morsel before the pressure is on to get back in shape and lose the baby weight. Nutella cronuts for everyone!
4. Take a bath
And it will be a very long bath, dictated not by how pruney my fingers get, but by how long it takes to read Star, Us Weekly, In Touch, and People. By the time I’m done, I should be able to diagram the entire Kardashian family tree.
5. Visit friends, especially the child-free kind
When I had my first kid, it shocked me to learn that not all women are baby crazy. While some friends were excited to hold my newborn, others recoiled, protectively shielding their silk blouses, and steered the conversation back from the brink of diapers and bottles to current events and pop culture. I realize now, these friends are pretty awesome. They deserve one last hurrah before it’s spit-up time again.
6. Binge-watch TV
My goal is to finish watching all seven seasons of “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix. I’m having my second girl, so studying Lorelei and Rory’s mother/daughter relationship seems like a good use of my time. And yes, I could live stream while I’m breastfeeding, but then how will I ever get around to “Downton Abbey”?
7. Treat your firstborn (if you have a kid already) like an only child
Although I’m so excited to give my 4-year-old a sibling, I also feel guilty that I’m screwing up her special “one and only” status. To compensate, I kind of want to spoil her rotten for the next five weeks. But given my girth and low energy level, this spoiling will likely manifest as repeat viewings of Disney princess movies while eating popsicles and dressing Barbies. I’m down.
Oh my, I’d better go now. As you can see, I have a lot of important things to do before the baby comes.
Pregnant ladies, what’s on your pre-baby bucket list?