Yelling is an unfortunate instinct that occurs mainly when parents see things going out of hand, or kids are not doing things as directed. No wonder there are times when you lose your temper and end up yelling at your kids for their unruly behavior. And a few moments later, you feel guilty for your action. But yelling at kids can hamper your bond with them and their development. That is why parents should control yelling at their kids. And if the question is how? Here are some tips that can help you control yelling at your kids.
1. Know the Signs
Yelling does not happen out of the blue. It generally happens in response to specific behavior of your kids, like screaming, throwing things, hitting you, and so on. The trigger point varies from parent to parent. Some parents might stay calm when their kids throw stuff around the house but end up yelling when kids scribble on the wall and vice versa. So, try to identify your trigger point.
Also, look out for physical signs like irritability, clenched jaw, increased heart rate, and so on to understand that you are about to burst. Once you know the signs, quickly move to some quiet place, stay there for a while, count backward, inhale and exhale deep breaths, compose yourself, and then come out and calmly talk to your child.
2. Warn Your Kids
Sometimes, warning your kids can do the trick. If you can no longer handle your kids shouting at home or see them disobeying you, give them a stern yet sober warning. Say to them, “ Your behavior is making me a little annoyed. I don’t want to yell at you. So, if you could please stop shouting, that would be great for everyone.”
Warnings can even help kids prepare mentally for a transition. For instance, if your kids insist on playing during their bedtime, instead of yelling, warn them that they have five more minutes after that, they should head straight to bed. This will get your work done without you shouting at the top of your voice.
3. Distract Yourself
Whenever you feel the urge to yell at your kids, redirect your energy or distract yourself as quickly as possible. Watch a comedy video, laugh out loud, stamp on something to express your frustration, sing, go for a walk, or do anything else to distract yourself. You can ask your partner to handle the kids. You should also think of some safe words like “love,” “you got this,” “this shall pass,” and so on to maintain your calm.
4. Hug Your Child and Talk
When your kids misbehave, instead of freaking out, wrap them around your arms and talk to them. Tell them you understand their frustration and are willing to talk about it. This will instantly calm down your kids, and you might know their triggering point, making tackling the situation and handling their tantrums easier.
5. Practice Mindfulness
If you want to avoid feeling guilty for yelling at your kids every day, practice mindfulness. No matter how busy you are, take 10 minutes every day to connect with your inner senses and try to know why you get irked so quickly. This will help you deal with your kids better, ensuring a better relationship with them.
Yelling at kids is never the best solution to deal with a situation. It will always backfire. But you can break this pattern with constant efforts. So, try these tips the next time you feel the urge to yell at your kids and see your anger disappear.
You can also read 6 Ways to Give Positive Feedback To Your Kids