Giving positive feedback can get daunting for parents. If you are one such parent, wondering how to give constructive criticism or positive feedback to your kids, we got you. Here are 5 tips that can help you give feedback to your kids in the right way.
1. Listen and Question
Given your age and experience, you might know things better than your kids, but that does not mean you can impose your thoughts on them. Everyone’s experience is different, so listen to your kids when they speak about their issues or problems and ask them questions related to it to get a better idea about what is bothering them or what exactly they need help with.
Once you pass this step, pause before you give your feedback to understand the intent of your words and their necessity. Choose the words wisely. Ask yourself if your feedback is positive, and if will it be helpful. Take a moment to reflect on your thought process before providing feedback.
2. Focus On The Process
Always focus on the process instead of the result. For instance, if your kid did not score well on some subject paper, instead of losing your temper and scolding them, show them empathy. Ask them how they feel about it, where they struggle, and what topics were not clear to them, discuss their study process, and help them plan a better study method to score better next time.
Getting annoyed will not be good for them. Your aim should always be to focus on the process. This way you will encourage your child to work hard and solve their problems.
3. Be Specific With Feedback
Do not give vague feedback. Your feedback should be specific and friendly. Provide information that your kids can reflect on. Don’t just compliment your kids by saying job well done or good work and so on. That’s not going to help kids as they are experts in spotting meaningless compliments.
Rather, explain to your kids what they did good, and why it was good. For instance, instead of saying that you did well with your addition, provide your kids with specific feedback by saying, “A few days back you thought doing additions was difficult and confusing but now you are having no trouble solving the questions, good effort.”
4. Ask for Kids Permission
Do not jump in every time to give feedback, it might backfire. Sometimes your kid might just want to share something without knowing your opinion. So, always ask for their permission before giving your feedback to avoid resistance. Start by saying, “ I have something that might help you in such a situation. Do you want to know?” or something similar. Give your kids control over the feedback process to form a better bond.
5. Praise Your Kids Efforts but Not Ability
Always praise your kid’s efforts and not their ability. If you praise your kid’s talent or their ability, they might put less effort into the task. But if you praise their efforts, you are praising their hard work and method to solve problems.
Such praise will keep your kids motivated to continue their determination and hard work to tackle issues. For instance, instead of saying “You are so talented that we knew you could do anything,” say, “We are so glad that you put in so much effort and hard work to achieve your dreams.”
6. Say Negative Along With a Positive Thing
When you want to criticize your kids for a task or want them to make changes or develop further, present it with some positive encouragement. You should highlight what they are doing well along with what they are not. It will make it easier for kids to digest criticism and use it constructively. Instead of saying, “Lunch could be better,” try saying, “It was a delicious lunch, perhaps you can add a bit more seasoning. But I loved eating with you today and can’t wait for the next time.”
Providing positive feedback to kids requires patience and thinking, so follow these tips next time to give your kids some positive feedback.
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