Judging Mommy

I spent most of yesterday in the ER with my youngest. Seems the girl has a penchant for jumping off couches but not the talent for landing.


As I sat in the sterile room, holding her while the doctor tried to decide exactly how many stitches were needed to close up her forehead, I couldn’t help but wonder how many more times I’d make this trip. I’ve written before that Elizabeth is the polar opposite of her brother. I’m not sure if it’s a girl thing, a second child thing, a Leo thing, or just her. Whatever it is, I’ve come to the conclusion my successfully low ER visits with Joseph were not the result of superior parenting, but luck.

A local woman was recently interviewed by the paper. She wanted to get the message out to child proof your house by securing dressers and TV’s to the wall. The interview was heartbreaking. Her daughter had been killed by a falling TV when she tried to climb the dresser drawers. But the comments were what sent me over the edge. In between the messages of condolences were judgments.

“A good mother would make sure her toddler was in sight at all times.”

“How can this woman be allowed to have children?”

On and on they went. While I chalked a few of them up to trolls, I couldn’t help but imagine how this poor woman felt reading those judgments after opening herself up to try to help others.

But for the Grace of God, Elizabeth could have been more severely injured when she jumped from the couch. Would it have been my ex’s fault? Would his parenting have been to blame? Things happen. Accidents happen. But what’s not an accident is the harsh judgment of other parents.

And how easy would it have been for a mother walking past the trauma room to pass judgment on me. Do you think there will ever be an end? Or is this what the Mommy Wars are really about?