You can learn a lot about a person when you are trapped in the house with them for weeks on end. And what I have learned is that my husband does not see the world like I do.
I’ve lost count of all the times that he has said, “Why don’t you just do that THIS way?” or, “It would be so much easier if you just did this.” He’s trying to be helpful; he can see that I’m overwhelmed with motherhood, and because men have an inherent need to fix things, he offers solutions.
A lot of solutions.
A few years ago, we picked up a desk from a family member to use in our eldest child’s bedroom. The desk was in two pieces, so I asked my husband to secure it so the top part — which included shelving — wouldn’t topple down onto anyone. In my mind, I assumed he would use screws or nails to attach it securely, because that’s what I would have done.
I ran a few errands and returned home to find a very sturdy, securely-fastened piece of furniture. I mean, there was NO way the top part was coming off now. It was stuck on good. I looked at it closely – how had he done it? There were no visible screws or nails, and I didn’t see any tools lying around.
“What did you use to attach it?” I asked him.
He beamed proudly. “Gorilla Glue.”
At first, I was horrified. My husband used super glue to secure a piece of furniture?! What made him even think of that? My mind was blown that it actually worked. But, as time has passed, I’ve realized again and again that there is not always a right way to do things. That desk is as solid now as it was the day he glued it together, and our kids have put it through a LOT.
The funny thing about men and women is that we approach problems and situations from opposite angles, which is great when we can figure out how to join forces and work together, but not so great when, say, I am trying to set the table and cook dinner with kids underfoot and he is outside peacefully putting air in the tires of our minivan. It is in times like these that we have the following conversation:
Me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Husband: “Putting air in the tires like you asked me to.”
Me: “I didn’t mean do it now – I’m trying to cook dinner and all of the kids are crying.”
Husband: (Peering into the pot of macaroni) “Are you using the slotted spoon? You should use the wooden one instead.”
Me: (Gives him a GO TO HELL look)
Husband: “Why are you mad at me?? I’m trying to help you!”
Me: “Just please take the kids outside so I can finish dinner.”
Husband: “So you DON’T want me to put air in the tires?”
My husband is confused why I’m frustrated about 99 percent of the time, which is both hilarious and infuriating; we are the stereotypical Mars and Venus. But honestly, everything he says and does is rooted in wanting to support and help me, and that is why we are still married.
Yes, it drives me crazy when he makes suggestions about what pot I should be using to boil water in, and yes, I also get annoyed when he offers solutions that aren’t helpful at all. However, the important thing about relationships is being open to the other person’s thoughts and ideas, crazy as they may seem. My husband gets bonus points because his suggestions are coming from a place of love.
He’s also shown me a million and one uses for Gorilla Glue.
More Relationship Confessions:
- 9 Reasons Why You Should Never Have Houseguests Right After Having a Baby
- Why I Secretly Hated My Husband After My Daughter Was Born
- To My Mean Mom Friend: We Need to Break Up