How To Write A Birth Plan, Including A Hug Plan (& When To Let It Go)

When I was pregnant with my first child, I got all the apps and pregnancy newsletters and dutifully did as I was told, week by week. When it was time to write a birth plan, however, I was a little stuck. Of course, I knew that skin-to-skin contact with my new baby was vitally important to me, since it’s great for regulating baby’s temp, stabilizing the heart rate, improving sleep, and strengthening the mama/baby bond. (So, I love this new Hug Plan Huggies has created, because it helps women specify their skin-to-skin wishes after the baby is born.) But, I also had to consider other stuff, like how I would feel about an induction or C-Section.

In the end, what helped me figure out my birth plan was taking a child birth education class. There, I learned what mattered most (things like skin-to-skin) and what areas I was willing to roll with the punches in order to keep baby — and me — safe. I spoke with the experts, and got some pretty great advice for how a birth plan should be written. Check out these tips before you write yours.

1. Choose the right healthcare provider for you. “The best way to get your labor ideals met is to hire a doctor or midwife who has a birth philosophy similar to yours,” says Jada Shapiro, a doula, lactation counselor, and founder of Birth Day Presence, a childbirth education center. Discuss your preferences as early as possible with your healthcare provider, to help ensure you’re both on the same page.

2. Use a positive voice. When writing your birth plan, Shapiro encourages expectant parents to write their bullet points in a positive voice. Stating your preferences, and remaining courteous (rather than submitting a laundry list of demands), will be better received by the hospital staff.

3. Start with a friendly intro. Shapiro adds that another great approach is to start with a quick, friendly paragraph, in which you thank your healthcare provider for her service and for taking the time to read your preferences.

4. Plan for all outcomes. Rather than creating a rigid framework — “I don’t want to labor in the hospital bed,” or, “I don’t want to have monitoring,” — think of it more as having an idea in mind of how things should go, based on all outcomes rather than one scenario, suggests midwife Christina Wynn Pahk. For instance, if you want to have a natural birth, take a birth class, have a doula, get to know the hospital’s policies, and be sure your midwife already knows how you feel about interventions. Alternatively, if your baby is breech and you need a planned or emergency C-Section, be prepared to change your plan. Even your Hug Plan can be set up to allow for several outcomes so you’ll never feel as though you were without options for skin-to-skin contact.

5. Know your options. This is where it gets personal, as each woman knows her own body and comfort level better than anyone else. “It is important to be flexible, but not to blindly allow other people to lead you down a path which may or may not be appropriate for you,” says Jennifer Hassett, a certified hypnobirthing coach and founder of You, Me & Baby, a childbirth education center. Hassett adds that researching and writing a birth plan will help make you as knowledgeable as possible when the big day comes. Some specific points you may want to address:

• Pain relief

Do you want an epidural or any other pain medication during your birth? What about while delivering the placenta?

• Fetal monitoring

Fetal heart rate monitors can limit your physical movement during labor. How much monitoring do you want?

• Interventions

Do you want your waters broken, to speed up delivery? Do you mind vaginal exams or being induced? What about the use of forceps or a vacuum?

• Students

Do you want (or mind) medical students in the room while you’re giving birth?

• Skin-to-Skin

Will your Hug Plan specify immediate skin-to-skin contact? Do you want to wear certain garments to facilitate easier hugs? Will you hug your baby while he or she is undergoing heel pricks or injections? If you are unable to, would you like your partner to perform skin-to-skin hugs if necessary?

• Shots

Would you like your baby to receive the Hepatitis B injection and/or Vitamin K drops at birth?

It is so easy to get caught up in the details and create a rigid plan and vision for your birthing experience, but keep in mind that it is important to know when to let your specific ideals go. “What matters is having a safe delivery for both you and your baby,” says Wynn Pahk. “If you want that to happen, you have to plan for there to be changes.”

That may be easier said than done, but that’s exactly why it’s important to view your birth plan as a list of preferences, rather than demands, and to prepare for each birthing scenario. In the end, it’s also important not to beat yourself up if things don’t go according to plan, Wynn Pahk adds. For instance, you could wind up needing an emergency C-Section or, after 20-plus hours of labor, you may ask for an epidural.

Chances are, no matter how far your birthing experience strays from what you initially had planned, you will still be able to put your Hug Plan to good use, and get skin-to-skin contact with your new baby (so don’t forget to create one before you go to the hospital!). When you look back on it, who knows how many of your birthing preferences will have worked out in your favor. Maybe some, maybe none. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you and your baby are healthy, and ready to begin this exciting journey together.

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