I may not have you yet but I know I will have a daughter one day. I’ve always wanted a daughter. I can’t recall when I decided I wanted a baby girl of my own, but I always knew I’d be upset if that dream didn’t come true. As I often say, girls love me. I am a girl’s girl. I have amazing female friends. I love my female cousins. I am proud of being a woman who works with and empowers women. It’s only natural that I want a daughter of my own.
It will happen. How do I know that? Call it woman’s intution, or I may just will it into exitence. So, here I am writing you this letter to teach you a very important lesson, something that took me years to learn. I hope to empower you and help you become a strong and independent yet open and loving person.
I want you to be “self-first.” That’s my way of saying you need to love yourself. You hear me say it all the time — “Be self-first!” And you often roll your eyes and say, “Okay, Mami, I get it!” You’re a teenager. I remember what that was like. So I don’t take offense when you don’t want to hear my wisdom, which you call lectures. Maybe this letter will be another thing you will dismiss with a huff. My hope is that you will read it when you are down, when you doubt your worth, when you are heartbroken. Maybe you will even pass it on to your own daughter some day.
So, here goes my “lecture.” It is so important for you to love yourself. The first step to loving yourself is to become comfortable in your own skin. Look at yourself naked. Admire your beauty, even what you think is an “imperfection.” Question your actions. Analyze your motivations. Become self-aware. That way you know who you are and what you need and desire to be a happy and fulfilled woman.
I want you to be okay being alone. I want you to sit in stillness and still feel whole. I want you to be open to love and know that you are loved no matter what your relationship status. And I don’t want you to be afraid. I don’t want you to be cautious. I want you to be open and full of faith.
And, of course, I want you to know that I love you (there goes that eye roll again!). I will always love you. Even when you slam the door in my face, I will be there when you are ready to talk. That’s a mother’s love. Hija, nothing you do will change that. I hope that in itself empowers you enough to be who you are and love yourself always and all ways.