Bonding with stepchildren takes time, patience, and understanding from your side and theirs. Plus, it doesn’t help that the media has always portrayed stepparents as evil incarnate. Connecting with a new parent is emotionally challenging for a kid. However, it isn’t an impossible task, and there are certain ways in which you can easily bond with your stepchildren.
1. Don’t rush
Don’t rush into it if you want to make an everlasting bond with your stepchildren. Take small steps and allow the kids to get accustomed to the new family structure. So, instead of planning a big family outing immediately after being introduced to them, consider inviting them for a short walk, going to a bookstore, etc.
If the child is comfortable around you, offer to drop them off at school occasionally, if not daily. Whatever you do, do not rush, as this may backfire. Take one step at a time to allow the stepchild to trust you first. Once the groundwork is done, you can consider planning bigger events like vacations and outings to bond with your stepchildren.
2. Give them some space
You need to understand that for a child to accept someone else as a parent who is not their biological parent is emotionally very challenging. They might want to welcome you wholeheartedly, but the fear of abandonment, trust issues, or even the fear of you taking their biological parent’s place might be holding them back.
So, don’t force the new relationship on them. Give them time and space to comprehend the major changes in their lives and how things will vary from now on. Once the child comes to terms with the new reality, it will become much easier for them to accept and bond with you.
3. Support their interest
This is one of the best ways to spend one-on-one time with your stepchildren. By supporting the interests of your stepchildren, you will prove to them that you will always be there for them.
So, help them with their homework, attend school functions and games, and try to do the things your stepchild loves together. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it or compliment them on every little thing. You just have to show up and share their enthusiasm.
4. Talk about yourself
One of the biggest reasons your stepchild may find it difficult to bond with you is that they might be unaware of your story. So, sit with them and talk about yourself, your childhood, your adventures, failures, and everything you can share from your past.
This will help the child understand you better and where you come from. Your stepchild may relate to your stories and make an instant connection. In such cases, bonding with your stepchildren will be easier than you thought.
5. Talk and listen to your stepchildren
Talking is crucial in every relationship, so listen to your loved ones to create a strong bond with them. Talk to your stepchildren about different subjects and watch as they slowly warm up to you. Also, try to listen and understand their apprehensions and concerns about the relationship and work on it accordingly. Looking at your efforts, your stepchild will try their best to bond with you.
Bonding with your stepchildren may not be easy, but following these tips, you can easily connect with them.
