Funny Tweets About Marriage That Will Have You Nodding In Agreement

Marriage is the joyous union of two people who’ve optimistically vowed to love one another ’til death do they part. But as all married people soon find out, marriage is work. Serious work. And sometimes you wish the vows had been a little more specific; like, “I promise to love you in sickness and in health, but if you leave your FREAKING clothes on the floor in front of the hamper one more time you’ll be sleeping on the couch.” Or, “for richer or for poorer unless you’re spending all of our money on throw pillows at Target.” 

Fortunately, there are people out there who understand the marriage struggle is real and they make fun of it so we can laugh instead of crying. Seriously, laughter is the best medicine, and once you and your spouse read these tweets you’ll forget what you were even fighting about. Probably.


I promise to love, honor, and cherish you…unless you’re getting more sleep than me, and then you will feel my wrath.

I love you, but seriously, if you keep breathing that loud you won’t make it to your mid-life crisis.

Sometimes locating items around the house is hard, and other times it’s just fun to irritate your spouse

When you know better, you do better. You’re welcome.



You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder, so get out of the kitchen! 

True love is letting your spouse charge their phone before you charge yours.

Love is patient, love is kind. Unless of course your spouse is snoring, and then love is restraining yourself from smothering them with a pillow.

It’s important to see things from a different perspective every now and again.

Sometimes love is a battlefield. 

What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine. 

Marriage means being comfortable in your relationship and in your pajamas by 7PM each night. I don’t make the rules. 

Having open and honest communication is key to a healthy marriage.

So the next time you’re thinking about how annoying your spouse is, just know you’re not alone. We all get annoyed with our spouses from time to time but laughing about it is more fun than ending up on an episode of Snapped.

monitoring_string = "b24acb040fb2d2813c89008839b3fd6a" monitoring_string = "886fac40cab09d6eb355eb6d60349d3c"