Including Kids in TTC

We’re Trying to Conceive—Should We Tell Our Son About It?

Even though our desire to provide our son with a sibling was the main reason why my husband and I have decided to start “trying” again, we weren’t really sure how to include our little boy in our TTC journey—or if we should include him at all. On one hand, we don’t want to get his hopes up, and on the other hand, we want to make sure he is prepared when the (fingers crossed!) pregnancy announcement is made. All of this is made only more complicated by the fact that our son is only four and “trying to conceive” doesn’t mean much to him. He knows that babies grow inside their mommies’ tummies and he knows that babies can be breastfed (that came about because he was curious and asked what breasts were for) but as far as conception goes, he’s not ready to know about the birds and the bees just yet. I mean, the kid is four years old and the way I see it, he is far too young to have “the talk.”

Please tell me I am right.

So for now, our plan is to talk to him about all of the fun things that can happen when a family grows. We talk about sharing and playing together, and we’ve even discussed picking out baby names. Names is probably our favorite topic—picking out names it the best! It gets me super excited (but probably too excited—we’re not pregnant . . . yet).

Because our son is  so young, talking about the possibility of his having siblings some day is really the best thing for him. He sees some of his friends getting younger siblings and it makes him anxious to have his own baby brother or sister, so we are encouraging that feeling without getting him overly excited. I think because we have talked to him so much about potentially having another kid in the family, that when it finally does happen and we are pregnant, it won’t be hard for him to grasp or be something he has to come to terms with. Rather, it will be something he is stoked about and waiting impatiently for the little bundle to finally arrive. I think sharing parts of trying to conceive with your kids is important and special (age appropriate sharing of course!). For now, talking and sharing is our way of including our son in our TTC journey and we hope that we are preparing him well for a growing family.

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