Why I Refuse to Diet in Front of My Daughters (Even Though I Have to Watch My Weight for Work)


A photo posted by Marla Sokoloff (@realmarlasok) on

Self-confidence is something that a lot of women (especially moms!) struggle with. We compare, we shame, we self-hate. There is so much pressure to look a certain way. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way as I’ve talked to so many of my girlfriends about this very issue.


Before having kids, I was (dare I even say it…) slightly weight obsessed. I counted calories. I was a gym rat. I was always chasing a better version of myself. I attribute this to my job and having way too much time on my hands to focus on myself.

After giving birth to my daughters, the pressure to lose the weight was so intense that I found myself feeling anxious. Anxious that I was never going to return to my old self again — the self that I wasn’t even that happy with in the first place! That pressure was truly only coming from myself, there wasn’t a single person on this earth that suggested I speed up the process.

My husband warned me….you have daughters. They are watching. They are listening. You can’t say the self-deprecating things you like to say out loud anymore. No more trying a new diet every week then beating yourself up over it’s failure. Obviously, I wholeheartedly agree with him and I am more than cognizant of how I behave. But something magical occurred after having babies that had never happened before….I wanted health more than skinny. I wanted fit more than thin.

As I mentioned in my last post, I really love the idea of cooking healthy food and having my family consume something that was made with nothing but the best. I love having pizza parties with my kids. I still have that tinge of knowing I need to eat a little better the next day, but now I enjoy the fun of eating together as a family. I take my girls out for ice cream and frozen yogurt and I EAT IT without any guilt.

I also don’t obsess over hours at the gym anymore. I would rather hang out with my family at the zoo on a Saturday morning than hit up a spin class. I truly don’t have the time to care like I used to and I’m 100 percent okay with that! I’m also proud to say that my daughters do not even know the D word exists. We never speak of diets or dieting or DEPRIVING for that matter. What they do know is that their parents love to eat healthy, they love to exercise, and they also love to break all of the rules sometimes and make ‘smores way past bedtime.

One of my favorite things to do with my daughter, Elliotte, is go to the farmers market. I let her pick out a new vegetable and we make something with it. This way she gets super pumped about trying a new food. Nine times out of 10 she never eats it (she’s my picky eater) but at the very least she’s being exposed to the good stuff. Maybe later in life she will look at a cauliflower and remember the fun day we had picking it out together and want to revisit trying it. (A mom can dream!)

I’m always trying my very best to give my girls the tools to know how awesome they are. Obviously I don’t sit around all day talking about how beautiful and wonderful I think they are, but I pride myself on giving them the perfect mix of self-confidence and humility.

The world can be such a tough place. Self-confidence starts at home with Mom and Dad, and I’ve come to realize that if we don’t have it they won’t have it. So even on those days when I’m feeling less than fabulous, I will fake that Mommy mojo until I make it.

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Photo: Marla Sokoloff/Instagram