The 12 Days of Christmas Presents for Mom

Our kids are generous little pups. All December long they give and they give to us moms, everything from moist tissues to a case of The Feels at their school holiday concerts. My kids have a penchant for picking giant, cheap, super gaudy jewelry for me in styles I’d never wear, if not for the insane amount of love I have for my cherub-cheeked gift-givers looking at me as if they just handed over the crown jewels. I’d like to take a moment to sing about the many treasures we receive—feel free to hum along to the classic tune you’re likely all familiar with. Ho ho ho!


On the 12 days of Christmas my children gave to me:

Day 1. Half-eaten cookies…They’re willing to try everything I bring home from the cookie swap, but not willing to finish what they’ve selected. Thankfully I’ve acquired a taste for damp desserts.

Day 2. Macaroni necklace…And I damn well better wear it for a solid 48 hours straight, even if the ink rubs off the wagon wheels onto my favorite ugly Christmas sweater.

Day 3. Reindeer antler headband…Handmade with pipe cleaners, of course.

Day 4. Endless rock salt footprints…I thought they were playing in the snow in the yard. How do they track so much filthy rock salt slush into our homes if they aren’t even in the driveway?

Day 5. Perfume that burns the nostrilsI love this so much I can barely stand to use it, which is why I keep it on the counter nice and pretty. Waaaaaaaayyyy over there.

Day 6. A wreath made out of hand prints…I’ll add this one to the 15 others from every teacher she and her brother have ever had their entire lives. I can almost make a life-sized tree out of them now!

Day 7. A paper chain garland…Oh, you want me to make it long enough to go around the tree? AWESOME. I was hoping for another thing to add to my to do list. Hooray!

Day 8. Greeeeeen fingerrr riiiiiingsss…Stunning gold and gems and DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY EXTRA RASH CREAM?

Day 9. Endless trails of glitter…They must fill the kids’ pockets with it at school starting December 1. It’s the only explanation.

Day 10. Foam ornaments…These will be perfect for right next to the blown-glass family heirloom ornaments. And to stick to the cat’s tail when she walks by the low branches.

Day 11. School fair plastic crap…“#1 Mom”? Awww, so sweet. We all know that’s a slight exaggeration, but it’s the thought that counts.

Day 12. AND A NEW WISH LIST ON CHRISTMAS EVE! Of course they changed their minds. OF COURSE.

More Holiday Fun: