The pageant mom behind this four-year-old's Hooters outfit last year reportedly put it on her so she'd "stand out" from the competition. Although the girl is covered in the middle, to me the biggest problem with the costume (okay, aside from the ridiculously short shorts) is what it suggests. An outfit that's worn by adults to be sexy, shouldn't be worn by kids period. No?
Photo: The Daily Mail
The same fine folks who bring us the baby cigarette proudly boast this cheeky costume -- dress your older kid up as a brownie and ensure that no one will ever ask you to volunteer as a chaperone on class trips again.
Photo: Brands on Sale
A sense of humor goes a long way when you have kids, but isn't this a wee bit over-the-top for such a young baby? It's just... unsettling.
Not only is terrorism a pretty crappy thing to joke about, it's scary for kids and the topic should be handled tenderly. Also, that devious expression and the thumb on the bomb trigger? Totally not okay on any level.
Photo: Just Something
Okay, okay, even this curmudgeon laughed a little. But do we really need the eating of bloody body parts?
The biggest problem with this is that you have to explain to him what it is. I'm just thinking 5 or 6 is a wee young for that, but maybe I'll change my tune when my daughter's school-aged and starts asking questions.
These two are absolutely beyond adorable, but everything about this, down to the rock candy, is just wrong. Again, I'm all for having a little fun, but when we're talking about illicit drugs, haven't we gone too far?
Photo: SF Weekly
He's so cute, but wouldn't he enjoy the festivities if he weren't strapped to a board? I'm not into this one at all -- too violent, and not at all conducive to the kid enjoying Halloween. He can't even walk!
This is borderline sexy but it's also gross. Halloween has a serious gore factor, but on a nurse costume that's targeted for little girls aged 7 and under, the blood splatter (especially as styled, around the mouth) is overkill.
Mr. T is an adorable idea for tike's Halloween costume, but anything that includes or encourages blackface is just wrong.
Not sure this one even needs a caption, but here goes: W.T.F.
Photo: Brands on Sale
There's no denying this little girl is adorable, and mermaids are just the best. But what's with the padded bra and booty-fitted tail? Mama's not feeling it. Not at all.
I'm not denying that the kid looks cute, but to me, dressing a toddler up as anything related to the exploitative, illegal world of prostitution is just wrong. Not to mention that pimps are misogynists by design, something we probably shouldn't be modeling for our boys.
Say what? This might be for teens, not young kids, but "under my roof," it's not happening. The whole thing is overtly sexy, from the innuendo in the title to the fishnets. You can pop "teen" in front of the word "girls," but this is a children's costume, and it's not okay.
The kid couldn't be cuter, and I guess he doesn't need to know the backstory. But can we please keep crystal tumblers of alcohol out of our preschoolers' hands this year?
I've always found the concept of these bratty dolls confusing, but this really solidifies my discomfort with them. Do we really need the bare midriff and miniskirt? Not cool, y'all.
Photo: Costume Craze
I'm at a loss here. Who on earth would think that this leopard-print ensemble was ready for anything but a bar crawl? Nope, totally a kids' costume.
The suit is cute, but I would love to do without the theme itself, and the handgun. Either this kid knows way too much about organized crime, or he's being dressed by his parents to satisfy some skewed attempt at humor.
The choker, the hemline, the racy boots...and all under the theme of our U.S. Military! I actually want to drive to the home of the person who conceived of this costume and administer a proper bonk on the head.
The model might be a little older, but this one is for teens and 'tweens. The word "naughty" is clearly used in a sexual context, and her ripped-up, cropped-top ensemble is 100% inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18.
Photo: Costume Cauldron
The pink-and-black stripes are okay, and I'm not entirely opposed to a prison theme. But what's with the handcuffs? It doesn't help that the site's item description opens with, "This prisoner has got to look good even though she's locked behind bars." Really, people?
Why is this even a thing? I'm all about female empowerment and owning our hemlines, but come on. If the girl can't reach over to take candy from someone's hand without exposing her undies, it's just too short. Way to ruin The Wizard of Oz for this new mama!
Photo: Party City
Think about the whole school girl fantasy thing for a second, and exactly what it stands for. Then put your 'tween daughter in it? The hemline and the pose are almost as offensive as the concept.
We'll go ahead and round this list out with a two-year-old in ripped stockings with a whip. Yep, Mama's ready for a cocktail now.