No One Expects the Inquisition



Somewhere along the way, my little bundle of red headed sweetness was replaced by a member of the Inquisition. I don’t know quite when this happened.

 It seems she went from sweet baby speaking her first words to relentless insistence in about two minutes.
“Yes, baby?”
“I want pigtails.”
“Okay. Just let me finish my shower.”
“I want pigtails.”
“I know, baby. I’m in the shower.”
“I want pigtails.”

“Elizabeth. Mommy’s in the shower. I’ll do them after I get out.”
“I want pigtails.”

“Elizabeth! Mommy. Is. In. The. Shower.”
“I want pigtails.”
“In a minute.”
“I want pigtails.”
“You want pigtails. I’ll give you pigtails. AFTER I’M OUT OF THE SHOWER.”
“I want pigtails.”
It keeps going on until I’m ready to tear out my hair or she gets her pigtails. The conversation topics vary. Her persistence does not. In a weird way, her single-mindedness is something that will serve her well in the future. Especially if she puts that focus towards school, grades, world peace. For right now, it’s making me bang my head against the shower door. I find myself repeating “you want pigtails” like a patient in an insane asylum, praying she’ll just stop.
I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’d like to hope that she’s just trying to communicate her wants and needs. The only other alternative is that she’s secretly working on a mission to drive me insane by wearing me down.
If she is, I have a feeling my oldest and the dog are in on it.

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