Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Rocks Off

Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Get off and STAY OFF – the rocks, that is, and don’t y’all come back here to er, Gimli, Manitoba? Indeed, this beach rules sign is rather blunt and straightforward for a Canadian sign but truth be told, there’s really not a whole lot to do on this chill beach besides – you said it & read it – climb on the rocks. Does this rule apply when ordering a cocktail at one of the beachfront bars as well? Asking for a friend. (image via Justin Ladia)

Cooked Crooks

Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Word out to all you starving artists out there: you’re welcome to visit the beach in Yangminshan, Taiwan, but do your starvin’ and artistin’ somewhere else! One imagines rogue cooks were repeatedly invading the waterfront, cookin’ up a storm AND scrawling their recipes on any available surface. The horror! Won’t someone think of the graphic chefs? It’s not like they’re bad cooks, they’re just drawn that way. (image via James Gagen)

The Stingray Shuffle

Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

To paraphrase T. S. Eliot, “I should have been a pair of disembodied legs, shuffling across the floors of silent seas.” But we digress… this sign comes from Treasure Island, Florida, where throwing missiles results in the loss of one’s lower extremities. (image via jlwelsh)

Crow Barred

Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Better not park your “caw” overnight on the beach in Highland, Scotland – the enforcers are feathered fans of Hitchcock films who aren’t afraid to “caw” (sorry) for backup. (image via John Haslam)

Curses Foiled Again

Sandy Clauses: 10 Bonkers Beach Rules Signs

Just so you know: Q*bert will not be muzzled! Except on the beach in Virginia Beach, where they don’t care much for the orange 8-bit critter’s indecipherable exhalation of expletives. That goes for pinky-swearing human beachgoers too, by the way, ‘cuz when it comes to cussin’ Virginia Beach is colorblind. (image via Monique)

Doesn’t Mother Nature read the Beach Rules signs? Check out Spoiled Shore: Storms Trash Golden Sands Beach!