Whether you adore your mother-in-law or wonder how she doesn’t melt while taking a shower, you can’t help but feel a bit of anxiety when she’s on her way to your home for a visit. Sure, she’s family, and you should be able to let your guard down. BUT THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. Here are just some of the things that run through your head as you scramble around your home, getting ready for her impending arrival.
1. Free babysitter is almost here. WOO HOO!
2. I wonder exactly how many toys I told her not to bring that she’ll bring for the kids this time?
3. I should donate some of their old toys to make room.
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4. I bet I can get her to make my husband donate his collection of stained t-shirts, too. BOOM.
5. We definitely need more groceries in this kitchen.
6. And a stepstool for her to reach all the pots she likes to cook the kids meals with that she will passive-aggressively inform me are better than what I usually make, which doesn’t bother me at all because they’re delicious and I don’t have to cook them.
7. Probably should hide all the coffee mugs with f-bombs on them while I’m in here.
8. Then put out those hideous vases she gave us and thinks we keep displayed on the mantle.
9. Then dust the mantle. People dust mantles, right? Is that a thing that non-mother-in-laws do?
10. I wonder if she’ll like how I redecorated the family room?
11. LOL, “I wonder if she’ll like how I redecorated the family room.” I crack myself up.
12. Okay. I can do this.
13. Just need to be a little more thorough than usual.
14. Just need to make it as clean as she’s used to.
15. Just need to hire a professional cleaning crew then not let the kids in the house from the moment they’re done to the moment she leaves so it stays that way.
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16. Uuuuuuuuugh.
17. Oh, she’s going to end up re-cleaning it anyway. Why do I bother?
18. At least she does laundry when she gets bored.
19. And folds it while she watches TV.
20. Gotta clear some space on the DVR for “Dancing with the Stars.” And “Antiques Roadshow.” And any movies she might enjoy so she never stops washing and folding all of my laundry.
21. OMG I LOVE WHEN SHE COMES OVER.
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