I live in the south, where charm and class reign supreme. But let me tell you one universal truth about mothers everywhere (even down here): a lot of us like to swear. Maybe it’s the allure of ever-so-occasionally doing something “bad” when your time is otherwise always spent setting a good example. Maybe it’s the sheer frustration that builds up after eight straight hours of wiping butts and playing short order cook.
Or maybe it’s the simple fact that mothers are still people, just like everyone else. And then when we became parents, we gave up a lot about ourselves but not the part that likes to let her hair down, have a cocktail, or drop an f-bomb. (For me, it’s probably a combination of all these factors, but I digress…)
The next time you’re heading over for a boozy play date, a dinner party, book club meeting, or just a pop-in to say hello to your favorite hostess mama who likes to swear, bring her something on this list and let the hilarity ensue. After all, we’re all moms here, and we speak the same language: one that includes naughty words.
More Gift Ideas:
- 16 Mother’s Day Gifts For Moms Who Swear
- 10 Geeky Dad Gifts for Father’s Day
- Best Gifts for Teens and Tweens 2018
14 Hostess Gifts for Moms Who Swear
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F*ck Coloring Book
If this doesn't help her let out that aggression at the end of the day, I don't know what will! This swear word coloring book is a perfect pick for your f*cking favorite hostess.
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $6.99 -
Bless Your Heart Hat
We southern mamas know exactly what Miranda Lambert was talking about when she said in a song that she uses "Bless your heart" as a negative. It's basically an extra-sweet way of saying "Screw you," and this hat is thusly perfect for your swear-happy hostess.
Buy It: My Diva's Closet
Price: $15 -
F-Off Socks
The perfect pair for when she wants to swear... and also when those annoying AF carpool moms give her the side eye!
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $15.99 -
Fave Bitch Jewelry Tray
It's not just cute, but useful! Your favorite bitch will think of you every time she takes her f*cking jewelry off at the end of the day and places it into this handy tray.
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $16.99 -
Epic Shit Throw Pillow
Decor accents like throw pillows make the best hostess gifts and this one sure doesn't disappoint.
Buy It: Etsy
Price: $19.99 -
Name Plate
Her home office just got a whole lot cuter (and more official, too!).
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $12.99 -
Cuck It Sign
It's ballsy but kind of brilliant. Get your favorite hostess who likes to swear a gasp worthy ornament for her backyard and she'll either love it or... well, no. She'll totally love it.
Buy It: Etsy
Price: from $30 -
What The... Tea Towel
A cheeky tea towel is always a good idea.
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $14.99 -
F*ck: The Game
An especially good hostess gift for game night or another gathering of adults, this funny board game looks like it'll be right up her alley.
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $16.95 -
Domestic AF Apron
I kind of want this for myself, but if I'm being a good guest I'm totally getting one for the hostess with the mostest, too. I mean, how perfect?!
Buy It: Etsy
Price: $36.95 -
Cheers Bitches Wine Glasses
Need we say more? #CHEERS
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $22 for a set of four -
Zen AF Journal
Hey, mindfulness is an art. She's got to practice that sh*t.
Buy It: Amazon
Price: $8.99 -
BBF Bracelets
Give the old acronym new life when BFF becomes BBF with Best Bitches Forever bracelets for the hostess and yourself!
Buy It: Etsy
Price: from $18 -
The Most (In)Appropriate Candle
I mean, it's really just f*cking perfect. (And it better be burning the next time you come over to this b*tch's house, too. IJS).
Buy It: Etsy
Price: from $12
