I must admit that I was never one to dream about finding a husband. Sure, I knew I’d marry the man who eventually became my husband pretty much as soon as I met him, but it wasn’t something I actively pursued. It wasn’t something I thought much about.
It’s not like my longing for a sister wife.
Being married is lovely — I adore my husband and we’ve been great partners for almost two decades now — but my eyes have been opened to the wonder that is other moms. They scratch itches I didn’t even know I had, and make my life rich in a way I didn’t know was possible. There is something special about the bond between mothers who are friends. We understand one another on a whole different level that’s hard to even explain.
From little gestures to big love, the other mothers in my life are so good to me that I dream of making them my sister wives, by my side every day, and I know I’m not alone in that sentiment. Here are just a few of the things mothers do for one another that makes us all want to build a commune and live together forever.
1. Ask, “How are you?” and not only mean it, want details.
2. Make you laugh so hard you forget you were just crying.
3. Carpool your kids to and from school.
4. Carpool you to and from Mom’s Night Out.
5. Know exactly what you need even before you do.
6. Have a standing offer to “lend you some sugar” so you can escape your house for a few minutes at any time, day or night.
7. Laugh at your jokes (even the terrible ones).
8. Hold your hands (even if you’re not hand-holders).
9. Know when you need a hug, and when a hug will cause you to have a total breakdown, so save it for later.
10. Be at the ready to love the people you love or make voodoo dolls of the people who do you wrong.
11. Encourage you to do things you’re not sure you’re ready to do yet, and have so much faith that you can, that you do.
12. Hand down their kids’ clothes to you so you can hand them down to someone else.
13. Offer you coffee or tea every time you come over, exactly how you take it.
14. Understand precisely what it means to you, personally, when you announce that you’re expecting another baby.
15. Adore that baby like he’s a vital part of their lives from the moment he arrives.
16. Give advice when need be and know when to keep their opinions to themselves.
17. Let you borrow a shirt, a tool box, a book, a car, a husband who can lift heavy things with your husband.
18. Answer your phone calls.
19. Notice when you got your hair cut.
20. Pluck the sparkly happy face sticker off your butt.
21. Watch your kids when the sitter bails at the last moment.
22. Bring your dog back when he bails from your backyard.
23. Remember the tangled web of your family and in-laws and old friends when you’re telling a story about them, and not need a refresher course each time you do so.
24. Drop off trays of food in hard times so you don’t have to think about feeding your family.
25. Sneak your favorite candy into the movie theater in their handbag for you.
26. Act as your sounding boards or researchers or network of kickassery, as needed.
27. Tell you when there is lipstick on your teeth.
28. Tell you when your kid was acting in a way she shouldn’t have been behind your back.
29. Tell you when your kid was acting in a way that will make you proud behind your back.
30. Have your back, no matter what.