Should We or Shouldn’t We Have Baby #3?

Should we have three kids

I’m in the thick of ‘is a third baby a good idea or just plain bonkers?’ caha-razy right now.

You see, our first went pear-shaped from pretty early on. We took a long time to fall pregnant, I couldn’t function without a strawberry milkshake in hand and I was on bed rest for a few days a week by halfway through. The little guy clearly didn’t like it inside. He popped out 8 weeks early and spent far too long in hospital afterwards. So when we fell with our second (a big night and no stress will do that to a couple) we were bracing ourselves for dramas all over again. Turns out none of it happened. I could still waddle to the park in the afternoon, I moved on from strawberry milkshakes to burgers (classy, but oh so necessary), he came out full term and has been fairly easy since.

So, the thought bubble is there… Should we go again? Is baby #3 a good idea?

When I’m thinking of a third, I’m not thinking all the practical crap I’ll need to buy – new car, more chairs for the table or where bunk beds are sold so that we can stack the littlies high. I’m actually thinking, do I want to be that person who gets no sleep again ? I’ve never been blessed with sleepers. Heck, my two used to think 2am was possibly the best time to wake, do a poo-nami, scream damn loud and throw-up all over me while I rocked them back to sleep. I’m not good on no sleep, neither is my hubby. And by ‘not good’ I mean we’re really bloody horrible.

The other things that is freakin’ me out is managing another personality in our family. My oldest isn’t a ‘fan’ (that’s PC, right?!) of the little one. Early on he loved him, he’d check him out in his bouncer and would happily grab a nappy for me when asked. But as soon as he started moving he was downgraded from ‘the thing that sat in the corner’ to his arch nemesis. We’re a year on and it ain’t got much better. I’m that mum that googles ‘how to get your kids to like each other’. I try all the tips and have very little luck. What would it be like if I added another one in? What happens if they all hate each other? My father tries to tell me that I’m hedging my bets – at least two will get along. Optimistic, I say.

I feel like a need to romanticise a little of this conundrum. So here’s my attempt. I think about sitting around the table on ‘Family Sundays’ all chatting and enjoying a glass of wine. I think about how fun it will feel for them all to have wee-siblings to play with and I think about the giddy amount of laughs I’ll hear on a daily basis. And the truth is I ADORED being pregnant, both times in fact. Yes, I had to have a little bed rest but who doesn’t love doctor’s orders to lay in bed while you’re growing a human for a few days a week? I adored my belly growing, I loved dressing the bump up, I loved the pregnancy cravings, the swelling, the crazy way I had to sleep to make sure my liver was happy (or whatever the medical hoo-ha is for sleeping on your side) and I never minded going for medical check-ups. I guess the biggest part of why I loved it was because I knew it would all pass and be over so quickly.

So maybe that’s just it, maybe I need to think of my third just like that? The hard baby part will pass. A full year of no sleep, crazy babes that plot each other’s demise and the varying levels of neediness will pass.

Maybe it’s worth it? Maybe?

Tell me, are you in the same spot? What made you jump in and have your next? Or, what’s holding you back? Is it worth it?

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