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25 Excuses Picky Eaters Use to Avoid Eating Dinner

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The creative and mesmerizing labyrinth of a child’s mind is a beautiful thing. They invent imaginary best friends made of glitter and claws who sleep under their beds at night, protecting them in the dark. They see dragons dancing among daffodils in the clouds, making them giggle at the sky. They weave fantastical stories about why they absolutely cannot eat the nightmare of a delicious meal you placed in front of them for dinner, compelling you want to cry while throwing dishes at the kitchen wall. (And yes, picky eaters are the very best at crafting these unbelievable tales.) The silver lining to the last point? At least those stories are very, very short:

1. It’s green.

2. This spaghetti is too skinny.

3. I said nuggets NOT TENDERS. 

4. I ate dinner yesterday.

5. But the food’s touching each other.

6. I’m only hungry for dessert.

7. I have growing pains this food can’t fix.

8. Can I have the lasagna without the sauce or the cheese?

9. But it’s a vegetable.

10. [Shakes head “no” without stopping]

11. It’s too early to eat.

12. It’s too late to eat.

13. It’s too hot.

14. It’s too cold.

15. It’s too spicy.

16. It’s too slimy.

17. My teeth hurt.

18. Grandma makes it better.

19. I would but I’m playing and you always tell me that exercise is important.

20. What if it makes me throw up?

21. I ate this before and didn’t like it and my tongue didn’t change since then.

22. Chewing makes me tired.

23. My hand hurts.

24. It’s just yucky.

25. This is not my favorite.

The endless stories and excuses kids can come up with exhaust the mind the spirit, but we do have to admit one thing: It’s also pretty damn impressive.

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Photo: Getty