21 Rookie Mistakes Every Mom Has Made

21 Rookie Mistakes Every Mom Has Made is a funny list for new parents and all parents who want to LOL on @ItsMomtastic by @letmestart

Here’s a little truth-bomb for you, new moms: It doesn’t matter how seriously you read those baby books and parenting books the internet swears are full of fantastic advice that will prevent you from being anything but perfect. Nope. They’re all just door-stoppers-in-waiting. Motherhood is all about making mistakes so you can learn from them! IT IS EXPECTED THAT YOU WILL MAKE OH SO VERY MANY MISTAKES. Most you will not repeat—the big ones, the dangerous ones, the expensive ones, the particularly messy ones—but you will make them. Oh yes, you will. Doing so will teach you more about your parenting style, your kids’ needs, and coping skills than anything a book could tell you. The lessons you will learn range from cleaning tips to Oprah-worthy Aha! Moments and everything in between. Here are 21 rookie mistakes every mom out there has made, and you will, too. Good luck!

1. Left a Sharpie/pet/container of sugar unattended.

2. Told the kids about something you might eventually do some day together that could possibly be fun if the opportunity perchance arrives.

3. Believed your kid when she told you it was Pajama Day.

4. Wore Dry Clean Only clothes within 20 feet of your kids.

5. Put white pants on a toddler more than eight seconds before you wanted to take a photograph of him in them.

6. Didn’t cover the baby’s penis during a diaper change. Or your mouth.

7. Didn’t change your phone’s password as soon as your kid figured it out.

8. Left the house without at least one change of clothes for your kid and a stain stick for yourself.

9. Left the house without insisting everyone use the bathroom first—and made sure that they really did make the tinkles and brown tumbles they promised they did.

10. Believed your kid when she said she wiped after pooping in the potty.

11. Said out loud to the kids, “I love how nicely you’re playing together!”

12. Thought they’ll still go to bed at regular time if they took their nap just a liiiiiittle tiny bit later than usual.

13. Prematurely decided that you didn’t need to carry such a big bag with so many supplies in it everywhere you went with the kids.

14. Thought your kid wouldn’t announce to everyone in the Target restroom that you are, in fact, pooping right now, just because you asked her to be quiet.

15. Said a swear in front of your kid that your husband never says, ensuring that THAT is the one your kid will repeat ad nauseam at preschool all week.

16. Gave $20 for the first Tooth Fairy visit and assumed the $1 per tooth after that would be acceptable.

17. Assumed your kid wouldn’t lift your shirt up above your boobs in public to blow raspberries on your belly JUST above your granny panties, which are of course are now on display to everyone around you in the grocery store.

18. Took kids out to eat during naptime.

19. Had total confidence that you could help your kids with their homework.

20. Tried to talk on the phone for even a second while your kids were anywhere in the house/yard/neighborhood.

21. Answered ANY yes or no question EVER with ANYTHING more specific than, “We’ll see.”

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Graphic: Kim Bongiorno