No Way Am I Buying the Birthday Elf on the Shelf

birthdayelf_sizedConfession: The whole Elf On The Shelf thing wasn’t my jam. It’s so commercial. And I didn’t have one in our condo … until last Christmas season when Jack came home from school telling me all these wild tales of this kid’s elf and that kid’s elf. I didn’t want to scar him for life … so I bought one. I plopped it on Jack’s bed one day while he was at school. When he came home to this special delivery, he was beyond thrilled! And promptly named the freaky-looking guy, Giacomo (the Italian name for Jack). We read the book. Jack started acting extra-good.

And to be honest, Giacomo really brought joy to our home—and kept Jack in line all season. After all, Giacomo reported back to Santa each night and surfaced in a new place—tangled in dental floss, upside down in the cookie jar, eating an ice pop in the freezer—Jack really bought into it and loved searching for the little guy each morning. And there were plenty of mornings I awoke in a panic—shhhhhhh-t I didn’t move the Elf and BAM, flung him across the room. 

Recently Jack saw a commercial for the Birthday Elf On The Shelf.  And I immediately said, no. You don’t need a special message from Santa in August when you turn 7. I will wish you a Happy Birthday. I’m the one who gave birth to you! What does Santa—associated with Christmas—have to do with the birth of my child. Even though I bought into the Christmas Elf On The Shelf marketing scheme—this birthday B.S. is not for us. 

My child doesn’t need another silly reason to behave to get a present. He is going to be 7, so he needs to realize he can just good because he has a good life. And he certainly doesn’t need a birthday greeting from Santa or to ask Santa if a fictitious elf can come to his birthday party. Then there’s the cost! For 20 bucks you can get a elf birthday kit—cha-ching! For $30 more, a chair-decoration kit. The final way into your wallet? A birthday countdown game for $40. Are you adding all this bologna up?

I don’t want to include Santa in my kid’s summertime birthday. It makes NO sense. And I’m sick of bribing him to behave. I’m not falling for this marketing scheme. But, fine, Giacomo will still appear this Christmas season because he’s an elf, Jack is a kid, and I have no issue with him coming out at Christmastime. 

Do you have an Elf on the Shelf? What do you think of the birthday one? Chime in!

Photo: Getty