Last night, tired from a week that already seemed too long, I came home from work and decided to pretend it was Saturday. An active imagination is both a blessing and a curse—a curse namely when I’m home alone and imagining a serial killer using glass cutters to make a perfect circle in my sliding glass door to let himself in while I lay sleeping peacefully in my bed.
Excuse me while I check to be sure my doors are locked.
Still, the blessing side of my imagination means that I can almost believe it’s a Saturday evening on a Tuesday night with a little careful planning. How do I do it? Follow these instructions and you can do it, too!
1. Call up a friend and borrow an extra kid or two. Nothing says lazy Saturday evening like a backyard filled with the laughter of children.
2. Pull out the fire pit. Inspect it to be sure it hasn’t rusted since you last used it. Load with firewood and ignite.
3. Grab hot dogs and roasting sticks and gather the children around the fire.
4. Panic at the realization that you have two extra kids, two hands, and a roaring fire inches from another mother’s child.
5. Make all children take a step back. Then three more to play it safe.
6. Make all children take a step forward. Then three more once you realize they were too far away to roast hot dogs.
7. Assist children in cooking their own dinner.
8. Follow with cooking their own dessert in the form of marshmallows.
9. Frantically blow out flaming balls of sugary messes.
10. Clean everything up—including the children. Tuck the exhausted little ones in bed after returning the extras to their home and pour a glass of wine.
You’ve just convinced yourself it was a Saturday.