How to keep your toddler from contracting an infectious disease in the public restroom

 altIf you are a mom to a child between the ages of one and three, there is probably nothing you fear more in the world than this.

Because you know the drill. While you’re attempting to do your business, your inquisitive little monster is attempting to make love to the tampon dispenser, licking every metal surface he can manage to reach his tongue onto, looking for snacks in the wastebasket, or worse.

In my personal opinion, there should be whole chapters in every parenting manual devoted to this subject. The traditional parenting quandaries like tantrums, feeding and potty training are a snap compared to this. 
So here are my Top 5 Tips for Using a Public Restroom With a Toddler:

1.       Use your stroller. Unfortunately not every bathroom is conducive to this. Especially if you have twins or babies close together in age. But it is definitely one of the easiest ways to keep your baby from playing patty cake with the porcelain while you are attempting to insert a tampon.
2.       If the bathroom has one of those toddler chairs attached to the wall, then by all means, USE IT. I know that it may look like it is carrying no less than 10 communicable diseases itself, but trust me when I say that having your baby strapped down is the most ideal situation under these circumstances. Just make sure you have your extra-large packet of industrial strength anti-bacterial wipes and give that bad boy a good scrubdown before your baby gets anywhere near it.
3.       Wear your toddler. Sure it sounds gross (and uncomfortable) but in my experience it’s at least 100 times better than letting your toddler go free-range in the restroom.
4.       Bring a straightjacket. No, not for yourself. (Though it is completely understandable if spending time in public restrooms with your toddler has driven you to the edge of reason.) For your baby. You may have to special order one to get the sizing right.
5.       If all else fails, there’s always duct tape.  There’s gotta be  a reason by they say it’s good for everything, right?