When I Retire I’ll Have Magically Poreless Skin (& I’ll Apparently Be a Mermaid)

drawing of mom resting for retirement

You guys, I have to be honest. Every day I hear things about retirement: We put away money for retirement; my dad even specializes in helping people get ready for retirement. But I’ve actually never really thought about what things might look like when I retire. It’s kind of like a mythical, completed to-do list—it sounds AMAZING and one day it will most likely happen and I’m constantly taking steps toward making it a reality, but in the daily chaos of life and kids and work, it’s not something I have freed up the mental room to ponder. 

drawing up retirement plans

Which is a mistake, because my retirement is going to be KILLER. 

kid drawing of spa time

My daughter Alice and I sat down to talk about it to help make it feel more real, and the first thing I realized is I will have time to sleep. Like EVERY DAY. The kids will be out of the house, putting their Ivy League educations to good use by helping save children and the ocean, and Playing House (never cancel that show, USA, NEVER!), and I will be alone. In my bed. With nothing but time to sleep.

looking for right colors for drawing retirement

When I do manage to stumble out of bed, I’ll probably have to go to the spa where I have a daily pass, and people refer to me as Her Holiness, because only relaxation and good will emanate from my poreless, magically wrinkle-free skin, which is totally irrelevant because even if it was haggard and dull my entire life-being is so meditative, it can’t help but light up the world around me.

picture of mom as Ariel

That was a lot to get down on paper so Alice made me into a mermaid, which is basically the same thing.

mom and daughter drawing on couch

There also will probably be hanging out with my bouncing grandbabies, traveling, reading, volunteering, and shopping for sequined tops, but the overall feeling I think I’m looking for is worry free—time to take down-time without guilt or stress. 

mom asleep on couch while kid draws

You know, kinda like now. 

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