imnotthenanny

I’ll Leave the Open Marriage to Jada & Will

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Jada Pinkett Smith
recently revealed that she and Will Smith have an open marriage (meaning they’re free to get busy with other people) — and that’s why they’re so happy together. Pinkett Smith, who has received criticism since sharing the couple’s personal business, believes her marriage is stronger than ever:

We used to have all these rules, [but] as you go on in your relationship, you just get into a flow,” she says. “The thing I love is being in a place where it’s just like, Will, to me, encompasses everything. It’s almost as if calling him ‘my husband’ is too small of a word for what he means in my life — and especially how I feel we, as women, identify the idea of a husband. I really had to mature and expand that. I think I had a very stuck idea of what a husband looks like, what a wife should be. Once I broke all of that, a whole new world opened for me and man, oh, man, I got to see him in all his glory. -via Net-A-Porter

Despite the pesky divorce rumors the power couple has dealt with in the past, they seem to be very much in love, at least according to the interviews I’ve read and the photos I’ve seen. A happy couple seems like an anomaly in Hollywood, especially one raising three children. I’ve always admired Will and Jada for their drive, ambition, and family values. The fact that they’re both gorgeous doesn’t hurt either (I might even have a girl crush on Jada).

That said, I can’t imagine having an open marriage. Jada’s Hollywood life is very different from my civilian life. I suppose when your spouse spends months away filming the latest blockbuster with other beautiful actors, the temptation for a fling would be irresistible. My husband spends his work day surrounded by twenty-somethings whose main goal in life is hitting the clubs and becoming inebriated. That’s a lifestyle he’s no longer attracted to. Although we weren’t monogamous at times in the beginning of our 17-year relationship, those moments never felt right for either of us.

In theory, an open marriage allows both partners to explore their sensual pleasures, but anecdotal evidence from friends indicate that it’s usually only one spouse that takes advantage of the “open” part.

My husband and I are both selfish when it comes to each other. We don’t want to share each other with someone else, even if the sharing is short term and purely physical (sex is never purely physical for either of us anyway). Even having an emotional attachment to a person outside of our marriage feels like adultery to me — the same as if one of us were to have a physical fling.

Besides, I’m not sure we have the energy or time for another sexual partner while parenting two young kids.

Have you ever thought about having an open marriage?