Why I’m Not Jealous of My Husband’s Work Wives

imnotthenanny

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My husband denies it every time I bring it up, but he’s a polygamist at work. He has two office wives who adore him. Most people have one work wife or husband.

Since I work from home in my breakfast nook turned office without a door, I have zero work husbands. Or work wives.

Even if you’ve never heard of the term before, you've probably had an office spouse. They’re that co-worker who totally gets you. You go on breaks together, meet each other for lunch, and complain about office politics with each other. You might even complain about your real spouse with your office spouse. You probably even flirt with each other because you’re both in a committed relationship and this type of flirting is safe because, well, you're at work.

Being self-employed has its perks. I can work in my pajamas or yoga pants if I want to. I can take two-hour lunches. I can even take afternoon naps.

Being a work-at-home mom has its perks too. I can take a break to snuggle on the couch with my four-year-old and watch Sesame Street with him. I get to cook that evening’s dinner during my son’s afternoon nap. I get to bribe my son with screen time so he doesn’t interrupt my conference calls with "Mommy, can I talk to your friends?" on repeat.

I have plenty of perks except there’s no provision for an office spouse in my work-at-home plan. Does Obamacare cover work spouses as a health benefit? I wonder what the deductible is for that.

I’m glad my husband has his office wives. His job is very stressful at times and no one can understand the pressures of office politics and work deadlines like your coworker. I’ve met both of them at various office parties and when I've met my husband for lunch. They’re lovely women: smart, funny, and cute. Those women keep him sane during work hours.

They also keep me sane because I don’t have to listen to all of his work problems and stories about crazy coworkers that fly out of his mouth as soon as he walks through the door of our home. Call me a bad wife, but sometimes it’s hard to look compassionate and understanding when I’m hearing the same complaint for the twentieth or thirtieth time that month.

The good thing about being his actual wife is that he calls or texts me to share his wins and successes right away. I never hesitate to stop my work in the middle of the day to celebrate with him.

I wouldn’t mind a cute office spouse with whom to harmlessly flirt and go on coffee breaks. Since my lucky husband has two office wives, I wonder if he would share one with me? Or is that too weird?

Do you have a work wife or husband?

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