“My Husband Has a Celebrity Girlfriend”

celebritygf_sizedWhen I first started dating my husband, he had a huge crush on Sarah Michelle Gellar. He fell for her before she was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He fell for her when she was Kendall on All My Children. Their love affair began during his teenage years on that soap opera. Yes, my husband watched soaps. He talked about Sarah so much, I called her his girlfriend.

Sarah was definitely my husband’s type: blond hair, petite, great rack. She’s hot. There’s no denying it. If she were my type, I’d be all over her too.

He made me watch the pilot episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show just because Sarah was in it. The first episode was awful, but I held his hand and we supported Sarah together. Eventually the writing got better and I started to fall for Sarah too. Er, I mean, I fell in love with the show.

Instead of getting jealous of his other girlfriend, I encouraged the “relationship.” We followed Sarah’s career together. I sat through a slew of awful, campy movies so my husband could spend time with his girlfriend: I Know What You Did Last Summer, Cruel Intentions, and Scooby Doo.

I teased him every time we saw Sarah Michelle Gellar in an ad or magazine. “There’s your girlfriend, babe.” It started to become a joke. “Hey, your girlfriend is coming to town. Want to go see her in Simply Irresistible?” (Terrible movie, by the way.) I didn’t mind having a threesome as long as the third person was an unattainable movie star.

Being married doesn’t mean we can’t window shop. I can’t help checking out hot guys the same way my husband’s eyes automatically zero in on a tall, beautiful buxom woman. (Old Spice Guy, anyone?) I’m just better at hiding it. He can fantasize about hot movie stars all he wants because at the end of the day, he’s in bed with me. I'm the one he makes love to.

While he claims that he’s not into Sarah Michelle Gellar anymore, he watched the entire season of Ringer (most confusing plot line ever). It might be time to encourage him to find a girlfriend who chooses better acting roles. Or I could tell him about my girl crush on Top Chef's Padma Lakshmi. Now that might be a better threesome.

Does your husband have a celebrity girlfriend? Do you?