At 26, I made a pact with one of my friends from high school. As I peeked out the window and admired the blossoming summer leaves, I said I'd make a baby with him if I was single at 30. My friend agreed. Without hesitation, he decided to be my back-up plan. It probably had something to do with his longtime crush. That would be me.
Thirty came and went and I am still without a child. What happened to my back-up plan? He met a wonderful woman, fell in love, got married, and had a baby of his own. I was happy for him and somewhat relieved. I hadn't given up hope that I would meet my match. I wanted to have children with a man because I loved him, not because my time was running out and I had no other choice.
But that was then. At 35, I am still without a child and revisiting this back-up plan idea. Would it be so bad? Wouldn't it be better than using a sperm donor? If I did it right, a back-up plan may actually work.
Maybe I just need specific criterion. I am a believer of lists; if I jot down what I want, it may come to fruition. What would be some requirements? A man with good sperm, so chances would be better that I'd get pregnant in one shot. I'd also need his family medical history. I'd be weary to make a baby knowing he'd suffer from every ailment. Also, my back-up has to be good looking. And I need to meet his folks to ensure the good looks are hereditary, and that he just didn't get lucky. Then there's his personality. Personality traits can also be inherited. I will love my baby regardless but I have little tolerance for people who are annoying and obnoxious. If all his quirks make me flip out, my baby and I may come to blows!
Why am I being so picky? Why not? If I'm going to handpick someone to be my personal baby-making machine and not put a ring on it, shouldn't I be specific?
So, here I am, telling the Universe that I'll go this route (or the sperm bank route if my friends run scared) if need be. A new back-up plan is now in affect. If am not pregnant by 40, and there is no romantic relationship in sight, a friend will just have to do. No longtime crush required.
Would you make a baby pact with a friend if you were single?