I never thought I'd have to search for love. Like most of my girlfriends in high school, I assumed I'd meet my future husband in college. That's what romantic movies from the 1980s and '90s led me to believe. When I am a freshman in college, I thought, a man will fall so in love with me that he'll stand in front of my dorm room window with a boombox over his head. Or we'll fall in love dancing the lambada during a dance competition.
College came and went. For four years I was "in love" with Mr. Big Man on Campus. I thought we were meant to be. The Universe often put us together. Need proof? When I asked him in a letter to be my first, and he never replied on pen and paper or a phone call, the Big Man Upstairs intervened. A week after slipping the letter under his dorm room, we found each other the last day of the semester on the empty UMass Amherst campus. It was just him and me. I didn't have to search for him. He was delivered to me.
I felt like Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity.
Alas, our love affair was less serendipitous and more disastrous. You can't change a player or make someone love you. And so I graduated at 22, single and heartbroken. I felt bamboozled by Hollywood. Turns out being a great dancer with awesome hair and a fiery personality doesn't always mean you get the guy. Neither does leaving it up to faith.
Since then I've been proactive and "searched" for love. Or, as I like to say, I am helping the Universe. I've made myself available in many ways. I've dated online and continue to do so. I've been speeddating and friends have set me up on blind dates. Some great relationships have come from my search. But none have lasted till death do we part. I am not a wife or a mother. So I'm going to stop trying so hard. The cliche goes that love finds us when we least expect it. Maybe I should stop expecting. Maybe I should stop looking. Instead, I will try to live my life, let my hair down and dance like no one is watching.
How did you meet your partner?