The Truth about . . . Orgasms


Okay, you've just had mind-blowing sex with the hubs. So good, there was no faking it and he didn't have to ask, "Did you?" There's no question, you did. You're grinning from ear to ear hoping the hubs has a repeat performance in him.

You go in for round 2 and things don't click as well. You're wondering how to recreate that amazing orgasm, but you can't. Truth be told, you're not exactly sure. The only thing you really know about orgasms is that you like to have them.

Your friends don't help. Even though conversation with your besties often turns to sex, they claim they have orgasms every time. But you don't and you're wondering if they're telling the truth.

In all honestly, you wish there were some sort of anonymous sex class for grown ups. The ins and outs of sex, or something like that. Lord knows, your Mom's birds and the bees speech didn't include the word orgasm. So is everyone but you having orgasms all the time? Here's what's true about orgasms:

1) There are two kinds of orgasms. You thought one kind of orgasm was elusive, now you find out there's two kinds? Yeah. That's right. A vaginal orgasm is the kind achieved through intercourse (or penetration.) A clitoral orgasm is the kind achieved through stimulation of the clitoris.

2) It's not that easy to have an orgasm. If you're a woman. Studies show that virtually every woman can physically have an orgasm, but many women don't. That's because for men, an orgasm is a somewhat automatic response to stimulation. But most women need to learn how to have an orgasm. A lot more goes into a lady having the Big O. She's got be in the right mood, feel good about herself and feel good about what her partner is doing. It doesn't take a road map, but it does take a patient partner and a whole lot of confidence!

3) Most orgasms don't happen during sex. If you're a woman. While men can pretty much have an orgasm if the wind blows, women's bodies are more fickle and particular. Only 32% of women report orgasms during sex while 47% had their first orgasm while masturbating. (Yes, women do that too.) And with 20% of women reporting orgasm from heavy petting, sometimes all it takes is a make-out session on the couch to make it all happen.

4) There's no such thing as His and Hers Orgasms. Well, almost no such thing. Occasionally, partners report the magic happening at the same time. But for most couples, it's nearly impossible to time their orgasms to happen at the same time. So maybe Sting can hold on for 9 hours of tantric love, but most guys can't.

5) You Can Be Greedy. Have More Than 1. While doctors used to think it was impossible for women to have more than one, things have changed. Now, research shows that most women can have multiple orgasms. In fact, a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms increases with age. Finally, a reason it's good to get older!

So what do you need to know about orgasms? Well, if you're not having them as often as you like, chances are you need to switch things up and try something (or someone) new. And if you're not having orgasms every time you're having sex, don't worry. Most ladies aren't. But orgasms are like Carnegie Hall, if you want to get there you'll need to "Practice, practice, practice!"

Whew, it's getting hot in here.